danielle.

2012-01-14T13:13:00.002+08:00

waking up every morning
to the feeling of
a knife lodged in my heart.

take my life
or my dream
away

because the incompatibility of
reality
and my dream
is killing me.

2011-12-31T18:41:00.001+08:00

2011.
what a challenging year.

A year in which i experienced
the loss of confidence,
the ingrained conception of my inability,
the comprehension of the selflessness of sacrifice,
the departure of the one i loved,
the ugliness of love,
the magnitude of self-centredness,
the consideration of letting go of my dreams,
the loss of meaning in life,
freedom but also,
the sense of worthlessness and helplessness that came along with it.

a brush of cold air.
freed from the barricades, which used to direct me.

free but lost.
and frightened.

so many directions, one after another, or all at the same time.

confusion.
and terrified.

struggled towards my dream
but tied down
by practicality,
reponsibility, parental pressure,
guilt
and conventional security.

it is with this new-found freedom
and much holding back
that i enter the new year.

with wings,
but a weight chained to my legs.

and anticipation
in my blood.

2011-12-21T00:03:00.002+08:00

“Check check! My height is shorter than everyone else, but my dream is bigger than everyone else. The stage I have always dreamed of, the performances that unfold in the future. Honestly, since I’ve prepared, I am anxious; although I am very nervous, I’ve chosen to become a singer since then.”
— Yoseob, MBCEvery1 Countdown Episode 2. (Yoseobians)

charming <3

2011-12-19T19:26:00.000+08:00

love this song :)

2011-12-18T00:49:00.000+08:00

jealous. :(

2011-12-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

old time fav.

2011-12-04T00:30:00.000+08:00

i like shinee
but this is so funny. :p

2011-12-03T22:35:00.004+08:00

http://www.graziadaily.co.uk/TheGlossip/archive/2010/05/27/sienna-and-abby-lee-get-the-fringe.htm

Inspiration for my current hairstyle,
not Cleopatra or China Doll, jh. haha.

thanks for the great interest in my recent haircut
and for a few unpleasant comments about it.
just cos i don't conform by possessing the stereotypical hair qualities defined to be that of a "pretty" girl (long, straight or wavy/curly, honey brown or blonde hair)
it doesn't mean my hairstyle is ugly.

at least i'm different. :)

2011-10-11T17:10:00.003+08:00

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

- Shakespeare, As You Like It

2011-10-07T18:11:00.002+08:00

today should be my favourite date of the year.
since my favourite number is 7
and october is my birth month.
:)

but today's really boring.

i love the rain,
but the heavy rain's disrupting my plans.

end of story.
there's still nothing special about today.

2011-10-05T03:17:00.000+08:00

2011-10-03T01:10:00.002+08:00

some facebook statuses just make me cringe.
come on,
we don't need to know all the details.

there must be some way to block you off the news feed.

2011-09-30T02:31:00.003+08:00

http://www.pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?t=455256&page=81

jane randall

2011-09-29T01:05:00.002+08:00

http://www.ilove80.be/blog/tag/max-farago/

secret

2011-09-27T05:08:00.006+08:00

http://williamyan.com/blog/tag/greg-kadel

http://weheartit.com/entry/8858896

http://www.glamcheck.com/fashion/2011/03/25/abbey-lee-kershaw-portmans-fall-2011-campaign/

Abbey Lee Kershaw's so hot.

2011-09-21T18:14:00.001+08:00

haha.

2011-09-20T01:04:00.002+08:00

have you ever wished to
be alone.

2011-09-19T00:58:00.001+08:00

omggg.

awww..
my favourite disney princess. :p

2011-09-09T22:49:00.001+08:00

work's wearing me out.

energy booster.

btw,
messy ponytail is so in.

http://glamarama-glamarama.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-to-alexander-wang-inspired-messy.html

2011-08-28T20:46:00.000+08:00

sweeett.

2011-08-27T21:53:00.016+08:00

Eechin, here you go!
my graduation pics & cheryl's too, below.

Cher's graduation! :)

2011-08-21T14:52:00.002+08:00

i watched this vid
and i'm like...
what on earth is it trying to convey.
injuries, robotic human, mermaid, encapsulated woman, scary pale-faced woman in wedding dress, etc.
don't understand.

but in the last 2 mins of it,
i finally got it.

and it's amazing how the impact hits you so hard,
driving the message of the song right home.

(i'm not going to say cos it'll then be a spoiler
and also, people interpret things differently.)
and this interpretation of mine is mine to keep.

i don't think i can identify with anything better than this song
at this point of my life.
i really love this song and video.
amazing.

this version is so raw.
totally fantastic.
it's like emotions flowing out from gaga herself.
it's so overwhelming,
i'm stumped.

every time i hear a new song of hers,
watch a new video,
hear her voice or her words,
she amazes me.
time and time again.
new songs as great as the ones before,
maybe even better.

i love her
and this song has reached a whole new level.

occupies a space in my heart.

2011-08-21T00:52:00.000+08:00

2011-08-15T22:12:00.003+08:00

http://lookbook.nu/look/131797

http://lookbook.nu/look/545103-C-C-C-C-Combo-Breaker

boy in denim jacket equals hotness.
correction.
boy who can pull off denim jacket equals hotness.

2011-08-11T22:19:00.001+08:00

2011-08-08T01:18:00.001+08:00

2011-08-03T23:16:00.002+08:00

i'm so scared.
to have to go.

2011-07-29T23:46:00.001+08:00

the game.

play or
run.

2011-07-29T02:48:00.000+08:00

aftermath's
shit.

2011-07-27T05:13:00.000+08:00

http://stardustandsequins.wordpress.com/2011/02/04/the-girl-in-the-lace-dress/

crazily into lace.

2011-07-17T15:36:00.001+08:00

once you're out of school,
it's like being on unprotected grounds.
you fight battles, alone.

2011-07-17T04:26:00.003+08:00

http://www.smokernewsworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Fashion-girl-smoking.jpg

a nice change from her chirpy songs.

2011-07-09T03:45:00.003+08:00

graduation on sun.
skirt or pants..
why am i bothered by the most unnecessary stuff?

i think i'll be collecting my "developed" photos in soft copy tmr!
my shots of zhuhai. :)
hopefully it turns out fine.

really love live music.

she's my fav,
no doubts about it.

2011-07-07T00:48:00.001+08:00

http://www.hivemag.com/wp-content/uploads/pretty-reckless.jpg

roks pls.

2011-07-05T03:23:00.005+08:00

that gold thing on the left side is the medal.

yes.
i went for the great eastern women 10k run last sunday!
crazy,
i know! :p
but i still finished the race! hehe.

10k is kinda crazy for me?
haha.
and my frens were still thinking of joining the nike 10k during the later part of the year.
omg.
i wished it was 5k.
now 5k's like no problem cannnn..
action only. :p

but..
i'm like aching so badly today.
my calves and thighs.
and my right ankle hurts the most.
don't know why.

okay,
im actually glad i took part in this.
taking part in a race at least once in my life
is already an accomplishment to me.
haha.

2011-06-28T20:52:00.006+08:00

still love her.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l8eesprg5x1qby47g.jpg

http://www.ladiesofrock.com/Taylor_Momsen_Pretty_Reckless_Picture_107.jpg

hot.

2011-06-28T01:01:00.004+08:00

back from zhuhai yesterday.
bought lots of cheap stuff,
shoes, purses, belts, tidbits, etc.

the place's pretty much like Singapore,
high-rise buildings, shopping malls...
and it's also pretty different from Singapore,
the roads/pavements are not exactly a nice place to be at.
not really clean or even,
you've to dodge cars and motorbikes and people sometimes.
lots of honking, messy traffic.
haha.

took some pics with my diana,
hopefully the pics will turn out fineee...
i'm still wondering if i regretted buying a lomo cam
cos i've to wait for the images to be processed before checking them out.
hmmm...

the food's really oily.
i don't know if i'm imagining it. :p
had seafood, veg, porridge, kfc, some pancake thing, a weird tasting corn, bananas, tau sa pias, biscuits, etc.

not much sightseeing to do.
if you go there,
you'll probably spend all your time shopping.
and remember, you HAVE to bargain for your stuff
cos they hike up the prices like crazy.

oh ya, before i forget.
they addressed foreigners as "aliens" on their arrival and departure forms.
haha! :p

okay,
now for today..
went to collect my graduation gown, mortar board...
bought some souvenir stuff, such as dry-fit shirt and badge.
i really wanted the lion stuffed-toy
cos it's sorta like "customised" in the sense where you can have it wear exactly what you'll be wearing on commencement day (the full graduation attire).
for example, you can choose the colour that you'll be wearing, which would be one that determines which faculty you're from and your qualifications, etc.
it's so cute but expensive!
felt a bit nostalgic.
maybe i really love my school after all.
haha.

she is so entertaining!
haha. :p

2011-06-13T17:09:00.002+08:00

katy b!

2011-06-09T14:47:00.007+08:00

i'm so weird.
was at sephora like months back.
came across this perfume brand
called "Juliette Has a Gun".
and that brand name just appealed to me
that i had to go back and get a perfume from this brand.

and i bought this with cher :)

Not a Perfume - Juliette Has a Gun

kinda like the black packaging more,
kinda cool and has the colours that i like. :p
but i don't really like the scents that comes with the black packaging.
there's this strong chemical /alcohol smell that i don't like.
here's the black packaging.

Calamity J. - Juliette Has a Gun

http://olfactoriastravels.com/2011/05/13/review-juliette-has-a-gun-calamity-j/

i'm crazy.
i bought the perfume for its brand name and packaging.
haha.
but the Not a Perfume has quite a unique scent,
so i don't think i'm regretting my choice.

damn addictive.

2011-06-07T15:55:00.004+08:00

i'm eating a lot lately,
cos i'm on antibiotics.

yes,
i lost my voice for like three days.
kinda sexy. haha.
not as sexy as amy winehouse's, definitely.
but i finally got it back.
haha.

i'm graduating in july.
which marks the end of 16 years of education. :)
i'm not exactly sure if i'm looking forward to working..
but i'm looking forward to a major change in life.

2011-06-07T00:01:00.003+08:00

just a clarification.
in fact,
i don't have to do this.
i just want you to know,
we've never intended to exclude you.
you chose to exclude yourself from our group.

i sorta empathised with you
and tried to find reasons to justify your actions
even if others didn't.
but till that day.
things changed.

it was so disappointing to realise that trust is absent in this friendship.
and it's even more upsetting that things ended up like this.

sometimes,
you've just got to think about your character traits.
maybe no one told you this.
even though i hate to say this,
i just hope that it makes you realise
what makes it hard for others to get along with you.
you're self-centred.
your actions doesn't only affect you,
others get implicated too.
and when things don't go the way you expected it too,
you have just gotta realise,
sometimes it's your actions that led to the respective consequences.
it's not about blaming here or not forgiving you for what you've done.
it's more like learning from it and not running away from it.
it is about accepting the fact that it happened,
sharing with us your point of view about it,
and that we'll be supportive friends to help you through this.

just so you know,
we don't gain anything from hearing your side of the story.
we could just judge you based on what we've heard so far
and have an unfavourable impression of you
and this would definitely affect the friendship.
it is only because we wanted to keep this friendship together that we valued your opinion.

i cared about you
and i hate it that things turned out like this.
but your decision just made me realise
how you valued this friendship.
and that's the turning point.

that i realised maybe we don't know you as much as we thought we did.

2011-06-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

love this mv :)

2011-06-03T03:10:00.000+08:00

cutes.

2011-05-31T00:04:00.003+08:00

got my results today.
:D

i wanna play bridge.

2011-05-25T00:59:00.001+08:00

http://la.popsugar.com/tag/Santa-Monica

i want feather hair extensions too. :)

2011-05-22T01:48:00.001+08:00

2011-05-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

2011-05-17T23:03:00.003+08:00

back yesterday.
hah.

what an exciting trip. :p
bus broke down on the way there,
the cab took a group of us to the zoo instead of zouk,
got stalked by two people,
was almost late for our flight back and ran like running for our lives,
and yes,
i sat the roller coaster and another ride. and nearly puked. haha.

although we went for just a few days,
i felt some sort of "psychological" disorientation ever since i'm back.

who wouldn't wish to be on a permanent holiday.

2011-05-12T22:54:00.000+08:00

going on a short trip tmr.
will be back soonn :)

2011-05-09T16:32:00.003+08:00

my new baby. :)

2011-05-09T00:47:00.001+08:00

I live halfway between reality and fantasy at all times - Lady Gaga

2011-05-07T00:37:00.001+08:00

so fucking hot.
cute.

2011-05-04T00:21:00.003+08:00

i'm sorry,
i've been lazy
uploading song vids instead of blogging.
been busy with school and exams.
now that school's finally over,
it seems like i'll be lazing around quite a bit.

i'll definitely be going back to exercising,
gonna get my tan back. :)

definitely be doing music.
will keep you guys updated,
if "you guys" exist, in the first place. :p

definitely gonna re-think about my life.
now that school's going to be over permanently,
i seriously hope.
it feels like i'm going to experience a new phase in life.

a lot of changes, uncertainty.
i felt like i'm lost in space.
but i've gotta get back to earth somehow.

got a new obsession,
will keep you all updated,
if that obsession persists.

goodnight,
goodbye.

2011-04-27T22:52:00.000+08:00

rock the dark lips look.

2011-04-20T17:29:00.001+08:00

2011-04-03T17:58:00.002+08:00

twisting and turning.
coming up against walls.
crashing and falling.

close my eyes and pretend everything is alright.
and i see your face.

then i cry like i lost a part of me.

2011-04-02T21:27:00.003+08:00

can't believe you'll ever do this.

why do you want to keep me out of your life so badly.

2011-04-02T02:40:00.001+08:00

2011-03-25T18:56:00.003+08:00

dad says,
it takes all kinds of people to make up this world.
people you can't get along with,
people who put you down,
people who criticise you,
people who make you feel bad about yourself,
unworthy, ugly and unwanted.
also,
people who love you,
people who want the best for you,
people who encourage you,
defend and fight for you,
and support you through all the hard times.

but most importantly,
you're one of the "kinds of people" that "makes up this world".
if all else are unpredictable and uncontrollable,
you're the factor that you've full control over.
you determine if you lead your life the way you want it
or the way others pressure you to lead.

so let me dream if dreaming makes me, me.

2011-03-07T00:23:00.001+08:00

2011-03-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

phantom and dreams.
blue space.

2011-02-26T16:13:00.005+08:00

i guess you're right.
it's for the best.

2011-02-11T21:27:00.000+08:00

2011-02-11T01:15:00.001+08:00

on repeat.

2011-02-04T18:40:00.002+08:00

in water
you can't hear a single sound.
you can see and move.
but it still feels different from the world on ground.

in water
i draw a line
between my world and yours.
a world i thought you'd understood.
but i guess you don't.

in water
i feel safe
and there i stay.
i don't want to go on ground again.

2011-01-26T14:44:00.001+08:00

http://blog.reebonz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Venice-Gondola1.jpg

most beautiful.

2011-01-25T15:36:00.003+08:00

was people-watching today.
saw a cute/hot skinny guy,
a guy with fiery eyes.. (seriously!), those eyes were really scary!
saw my female eye-candy, heehee!

i guess people are more interesting than lectures.

i'm so looking forward to a break already.
and its only the third week of school.
but cnyyy!! heh heh :p

feel like walking along the beach or something..
feeling the wind in my hair and
hearing the relaxing sound of the waves.

sometimes we really need to slow down
and appreciate nature and the landscapes. :)

2011-01-24T22:59:00.001+08:00

exhausted.

can't wait for next week to come. :)

2011-01-22T17:15:00.002+08:00

someday,
you'll realise that the people who you thought understand you best,
don't.

it's so strange that although we are aware that
no one can ever understand any one entirely,
it still hurts when you experienced and felt that.

how do you "measure" how much you feel about something?
what i feel for you will never be the same as what you feel for me.

how do you "measure" love?
how much is i love you?
how much is i love you very much?
how can we even say i love you more that you love me and vice versa,
when it is almost impossible to tell?

you'll only know when you feel it.
but feeling or experiencing something
aren't scientifically-proven devices to gauge anything.

but i just feel it.
and how could we feel something out of no reason?

but i can't say how i feel.
you can never explain how you feel a particularly way.
you can only define the triggers to that emotion,
but how you feel
still remains undefinable.

how can someone define how it feels to fear heights?
they can say perhaps triggers like having experienced something bad related to that before,
it became a phobia.
but how do they describe how it feels to feel this phobia or fear when they encounter great heights?
some people might feel that the reason of having undergone a bad experience is not enough
to explain why they have this phobia?
but do they understand how it is like to feel what the person had felt during the bad incident?
isn't it a whole experiencing of something so strong,
that it can't be defined in any way?
what more explaining it to a person who can't understand how it felt like exactly.

alone is such a sad word.
but alone wouldn't have such a sad connotation
when you've gotten used to being alone all the time.
cos when you've gotten used to being alone all the time,
how would you know what it means to be alone.

losing your bearings
or the experiencing of disorientation is a frightening feeling.

2011-01-19T11:31:00.002+08:00

i wish i don't have such early classes
and that i'll have enough sleep.
it's really hard to concentrate when you're so tired.
so tired that i'm not even hungry,
that's a first for me. :p

i just found out yesterday that my neighbour/s (their family and all) moved out.
and today, renovations started,
so i guess i'll have new neighbours! :)
daddy was saying that we should buy the flat and join it with ours,
den we'll have a big homeee..
haha.
i wish..
that way,
i can have my own room..
i know it seems childish to still wish for a room all to myself at this age.
but apparently,
privacy and personal space are not characteristics of a certain age/range of age.

i want to sleep.
see you girls tomorrow
love, hopefully. :)

2011-01-16T23:05:00.002+08:00

busy busy day
and busy week
and month!

been struggling to complete my readings,
print readings,
get all my texts,
plan timetable,
etc...
so busyyyy with sch!!

morning classes are making me so tired all the time.
not enough sleep..
but i like it that i have the rest of the day to do stuff.

and cny is coming like SO soon!!
i was panicking cos i haven't bought new clothes!
but i did really QUICK shopping trip at Orchard just now,
and got my new year clothes within two hours!
hehe! fast and efficient!
btw, if you don't know yet, i don't really like shopping.
i'm the kinda person who gets stuff only when i need them.
unless i'm really damn free to shop la.
also, if you guys want good deals,
shop now cos there are lots of sales going on at many places!
was told that by cher cher!
she's so into buying stuff lately..... hmmmmmm....

i'm gonna hang in there and persevere on!
work hard, everybody!
<3

2011-01-15T16:37:00.002+08:00

holding back emotions
or letting it go.
explorations of a new realm,
a world I've never seen or experienced before.

a world of emotions held back by a barrage along its circumference.
and when it rains,
emotions flood and flow like waves across the barrage,
breaking free and overwhelming..

2011-01-09T22:35:00.002+08:00

school starts tomorrow?? omgg..
just one more week of holidays please.. :(

oh man.
no more waking up late.
darn.
a lot of morning classes this sem.
10am and worst of all, 8am.
and lessons, five days a week,
going school every single week day..
unimaginable horror.

oh god.
i need to breathe....

2011-01-08T23:12:00.002+08:00

did some packing today
and found a stack of old letters.
some were from my friends when we were all primary school students,
some were from secondary school friends.

besides laughing at the silly childish (not judging, we were all so young!) things we say,
the cute stickers, pictures, etc.,
i felt a whole range of emotions
from happiness all the way to sadness and a little bit of pain?

letters are like the literal form of relationships..
we give and we receive..
the different kinds of relationships like friendship and love.

love is so strange.

i'm feeling nostalgic and
am thinking too much again.

2011-01-08T01:02:00.003+08:00

school's starting next week..
and i'm feeling kinda weird.
like i'm not exactly excited about it cos i'm not really ready to get on with all the stressful readings, essays and tests,
but i'm kinda excited too cos i'm more determined to do my very best since it's my last semester (i hope!).
arghh. i know it's kinda contradictory.

this month is going to be a really busy month for me.
and i need to get going.
good luck and may this year be a good one for everyone! :D
take care,
also since it's so freaking cold lately.
<3

2011-01-03T17:14:00.002+08:00

my grandfather's death anniversary.
i'll miss you forever
and time will not make me love you any less.

2011-01-03T15:04:00.001+08:00

its just so sad
that you don't see what i see.

2011-01-02T16:55:00.002+08:00

i've watched this like more than 10 times.

i prefer this live version to her mv.
here's the mv.

love her hair :)

2011-01-01T00:10:00.002+08:00

Happy 2011, Everybody! :)

2010-12-30T01:04:00.002+08:00

will it be fun tomorrow?
i kinda wish i had a hammock,
cute isn't it? :p

pic for the music thing that cher and i had been working on will be up real soon!
hehe.

btw,
cher's an awesome guitarist and vocalist.
she could totally be a single-person band.
haha.

okays,
hope tomorrow's being in touch with nature goes well!

goodnight everyonee :)

2010-12-26T23:46:00.003+08:00

er..
i think my blog had just became the headquarters for spams.
haha.
i'm not complaining.
as long as nobody's disturbed in any way,
i'm pretty fine with that.

anw, that's not what i wanna blog about.

"celebrated" Christmas yesterday.
it was a REALLY long day.
woke up at ard 6-7am.
and slept at ard 6am.
yeahh..
and i just realised i was awake for bout 24 hours.
i'm not a Christian,
people from the same religion as me held a Christmas party with the sole purpose of bonding and sharing the joy with others.
i used to think like why on earth are we celebrating Christmas when we're not Christians,
and would that be considered offending since we do not have the same purpose of celebrating Christmas.
but anyway,
it's really heartwarming since they made the effort to invite the elderly and the kids to be involved by playing simple games and they also put up something like a play for all to watch.
i felt really happy volunteering.
it's just so hard to find such kindhearted people around..
everything's free. the performance, gifts, lunch and dinner.
people were helping the elderly around and helping them and the kids were their Santa hats.
so sweet and cute :p
everything ended at around 6pm.

went to walk around Compass Point
and i bought two Hello Kitty things. hehe.
i thought of doing a post on all my Hello Kitty stuff.
there's not a lot but not an insignificant amount too.
am not exactly crazy about Hello Kitty.
but some stuff are just too cute and pretty to ignore.
i'll probably want to show pics of what i bought yesterday and the other things i already own.
see how la. :p

went to our girls' headquarters,
Ming's place.
exchange presents, played the pictionary card game, snacked and had "heart-to-heart" talk??
haha.
it's so nice that everyone turned up.
it feels like its getting harder for all of us to make it for an outing or something.

anyway,
everyone please keep warmed since it's getting really cold
even in a "hot" country like Singapore.
and enjoy the holidays! :)

2010-12-25T00:04:00.003+08:00

hey heyys!
Merry Christmas to everyonee! :D

anw,
our trip's quite boring,
but the staffs were really friendly :)
all we did there were like swim and eat.
we ate the mamee noodles snack the whole time and a lot of titbits.
there are not many places to explore.
oh, and we played bowling and went to the really backdated ktv.
it wasn't really funn..
and we saw a really huge beetle.
yeahh.. that's about it.

and..
bought the $9.90 present thing to exchange with the girls.
hehe.
hope the one who got it likes it :)

looking forward to the other outings,
like the campinggggg! yay!

and i'm just thinking about next month when school reopens.
i'm gonna try to work really hard.
and start reading all the texts to be ahead of the lessons.
hmmm.. i think i'll be really tight on time next month.

okays,
enjoy Christmas, guys! :)

2010-12-21T15:46:00.003+08:00

we're going on a really short trip to batam tomorrow,
happy, happy, yay yay!

so many activities coming up,
leading all the way to the new year. :)
take care everybody,
especially charlie.
go drink your yakult. :p

i wish i could come up with some enlightening quote or something.
but it's too much for my silly brain to handle.
haha.

2010-12-15T21:24:00.002+08:00

helloooo..
this is going to be a random blog post. :p
cos i've basically nothing else to do.

i've been sleeping for like 10-12 hours daily, lately.
madness, i know!
but i'm not feeling well,
so i guess, MUCH rest is needed. haha.

i've been getting hungry at weird hours lately.
like 2-3plus in the morning/night?
and i'll always remember eating cup noodles the other day around that time,
and it's so awesomee!
the soup is so hot and yummy-ly comforting and tasty-ly salty. haha!
i'm so greedy. :p
and i've been craving for prawn noodles lately too!
so weirdddd...

anw,
mummy's so cute!
she has been buying different types of cereal/cornflakes lately.
like different brands and different flavours.
can't wait to try!
i think there's like cinnamon and what not.
my all-time favourite: Yogactive, the chocolate pillows, yogurt drops and cereal flakes one!
really have to try, seriously.

also,
cher and i have been thinking of something new regarding music!
plans have been made and we'll see how it goes :)
hees.

i can foresee that i'll be blogging a lot lately cos there's so many exciting things coming up!
mummy's b'day, holiday to batam, christmas celebrations?
hmmm.. well, maybe not, if i'm lazy. :p

take care everybody!
and eat bananas,
haha.
random.
kay byee.

2010-12-14T00:44:00.002+08:00

i miss you.
and i can't help thinking that you're so far away,
on another land across the sea.

2010-12-13T02:26:00.002+08:00

been sick for two days already.
i hope i'll feel better tmr.

went shopping for mummy's bday present today.
wasn't really able to walk around without feeling tired and aches all over my body.
it feels really scary..
like i'm feeling tired all the time.

everyone returned with stuff, heess.
my brother bought shirts, cher got a carrot pants (yesh, a CARROT pants. like whattt?? keep guessing!),
and i got a free paper box, which looked so cute.
and mummy will get her presents soon! :)

hmm..
there's so many things i wanna do.
but have no money for.
maybe i should start looking for a job..

im tiredd.
byebye.

2010-12-10T00:42:00.002+08:00

some things just cannot be replaced.

i brought this photo scrapbook that Cher made for me for my b'day and placed it in my bag.
and i placed a bottle of mineral water that was half-full in too.
with the cap on but not screwed on.
i'm so stupid.
soon, i realised that.
and the contents of my bag got wet and the book too.
and some of the ink smudged and a few words got distorted.
i can't believe how stupid i am.
i really treasure that book so much.
every single time i look through the whole book i would cry.
because Cher developed a lot of photos and wrote quite a bit in it.
it's really heartwarming cos of all the memories we shared that can be revived momentarily with these photos.
there are photos of us when we were young all the way to now.
and i just ruined it.
i'm so stupid.

my only consolation from this is that
thank god,
i hadn't agreed to take your photo.
cos if i did and it got wet too along with the book,
i' ll just kill myself.

i really want your photo.
but i can't bear to take any,
since if they are precious to me, i would think that they are even more precious to you.
i would if you have an extra one.
i'm sorry if i made you think i didn't want it.
cos i really do.

all in all,
i'm just so stupid.

2010-12-07T18:11:00.000+08:00

im sorry.
im horrible.
took me such a long time to realise this.

2010-12-04T22:08:00.002+08:00

we all live life thinking about the past and the future.
regretting and being affected by what's done and what hasn't.

how bout seeing life from a new perspective.
and start living and enjoying life now.

now.

2010-12-01T19:22:00.002+08:00

darnn.
just when i thought there wouldn't be anymore stress from school,
since exams are over and the semester's finally OVER.
here come stress from planning next semester's timetable and modules to take.

stupid mods, seriously.
the choices are so limited, there's like no choices at all la.
and silly timing clashes.
arghhhhh! :(

2010-11-23T16:25:00.003+08:00

this feels so weird!!
no water, i mean.
arghh..

okay. they sent us a notice about changing the water pipes lining or something, so water supply will be disrupted from 9am to 5pm today. we totally forgot about it. and i only knew about it when i saw cher's msg this morning. went to wash up, luckily there's still a little amount of running water from the tap. brushed my teeth, rinse and began to wash my face.. washing face halfway. water supply stops. like watttt?? had to use water from the flask (i'm so grateful to my mum for preparing this every morning) to wash my face. can you imagine using water poured from a cup to wash your face? suddenly, i realised i'm very fortunate to have running water from taps.

cher told me the water supply stopped when she was about to rinse her mouth after brushing her teeth! damn stupid right? it seems like the water supply knows the right time to stop running. thanks so much, you silly tap, water, pipes, whatever!

no water to wash hands, plates and cups, no water to even flush the toilet bowl. omgomgg! i'm so not used to all thisss!!

Cher had to buy a bottle of 1.5L mineral water for me and i'm so thankful for that, seriously! if not, no water to drink also.

i can't imagine how horrible this feels untill now that i'm actually experiencing it.
gosh......
CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT WATER! :(
so horrible. 5pm hurry comeeeeeeeeee... PLEASEEEeee!

2010-11-20T01:48:00.002+08:00

i often express myself through written words.
sometimes it gets hard to voice out what you want to say.
or sometimes, things are just so difficult to be said.
therefore, writing is especially useful.

i write poems and proses.
i'm not an expert.
and i compile most of my writings in a book.

just wanna say that people often do not get the chance or time to express themselves.
and they just lead their lives how everyone else leads their own.
but they often don't realise,
this is your life.
you make your own meaning out of it.
you make your life your own.

take time to get in touch with how you feel.
or how people you really treasure feel.

take time to see the world and its beauty
and don't live a meaningless life.

use any method to express yourself.
through words, music, dance, sports, anything.

express what you really feel.
and when you look back on that,
you'll realise,
you've created/done something that's uniquely your own.
something that gives meaning to your life
and defines who you are.

i look back at my writings.
and could almost feel how i felt at the moment i wrote it.

it's something that makes me, me.
even if no one else understands.

2010-11-14T15:43:00.002+08:00

today's weather is a-maaaa-zingg!
its so chilly and fun!
haha. i dont know how these two terms got linked together.
but still!
it's better than hot and sunny.
hees!

i was like day-dreaming.
wishing that i could be under the shelter somewhere,
playing the guitar,
in this raining weather.
haha.
like i said, i'm really dreamingggg..
like why play under the rain???
idk. :p

i wish i could sit somewhere cozy,
drink a cup of hot chocolate and read magazine or smth.
but nopeee..
im huddled at my table,
forcing myself to study for tmr's test...
and listening to songs, and blogging and watching youtube vids....
hmmm..

okay,
im going to get into my pullover,
pretend that it's winter
and pretend that i'm studying.

byebyeeee!

2010-11-13T15:53:00.001+08:00

sweet.
beautiful one.

2010-11-12T21:22:00.002+08:00

music's really amazing.
everytime im on youtube,
i wander around
but i'll always go back to listening song covers
and end up feeling so inspired.

kelsey, being my all-time favourite song..
i just had to search the covers for this song.
and guess what i found..

he's amazing.
went to look at his profile and found out he wrote his own songs,
his own history, etc.
and he's really great.

totally made my day.
thank you. :)

2010-11-10T21:37:00.002+08:00

yayyayyayheeheeheeeee!
im like almost done with all my assignments for this semester!
im left with one final test on next mon
and i'll be facing the exams like a week after.

this sem is crazy!
i know i say that every single sem.
but i don't know!
maybe all the sems are crazy
and this one isn't any different!

however,
what's different is that i only have two exams out of my five modules.
which means i've three non-examinable mods.
non-examinable means crazy amount of work to make up for the exam.
and yes.
crazy amount of work times three for my three non-examinable mods.
crazy crazy crazy!!

i've been so busy like for a mth at least!!
the past few weeks including this, there were like at least three assignments were due each week.
i swear i nearly died and was practically stressed the entire time.
i was going crazy.

but now, after today's test,
and the fact that the next "assignment" would be the next mon's test,
i HAVE to take a break.
i've only slept like 3 - 4 hours max each day for majority of this month of stress
that i was sleeping practically everywhere,
on the bus, the mrt, in class, sitting, whatever.
im so darn tired,
i came home today,
lay on the floor and fell asleep in seconds.
yayyyy!

im going to pack the table
and watch a movie on dvd or smth.
im so happy!
see how easily contented one can be after experiencing such "terrible" things.
byebyeeee!

2010-11-10T00:17:00.001+08:00

i'm the site of
emptiness
essence
extracted
no longer
in existence.

2010-11-06T16:15:00.001+08:00

Time.
no time.
busy.

wait.
i know.

i know.

wun take up anymore time.

2010-11-04T13:23:00.001+08:00

oh no.
i'm resorting to laughing at others to feel better.
but this is so funny!

taylor swift is so cuteee! :p

2010-11-03T18:40:00.002+08:00

sorry.
some days i just have to whine.
and today just happened to be that someday.

today's quite bad so far.
not enough sleep, but i have to wake up to plan my essay, due tomorrow.
bad migraine and felt like vomiting.
wash up and started planning essay.
den major family dispute occurred with someone shouting at the top of his voice.
too noisy, can't do work, so get ready for school.
while getting ready, someone comes home from work.
greeted that person and our dreadful conversation was:

That person: "you didn't notice that i came back early from work today?"
Me: "ohhh, i thought you came back early to pack your luggage for the trip this weekend?"
That person: "no! i came back because i was sick and you didn't even ask how am I or show any concern at all. you're such an uncaring and unconcerned daughter."

what on earth just happened??
just let me say something before you judge..
how am i to know that you're sick when you didn't even tell me. you didn't even give me a chance to explain and you start accusing and labeling me as a bad daughter.

i feel sick today.
but i don't go around telling others how sick i am and i don't demand for attention or sympathy.
just go and think about how selfish you are.

that's not all.
prepared for presentation at 4pm.
and we had our group presentation but everyone else had so much to say that there was no time for me to present.
i really don't know what else to say. and i don't know if i will be graded for not presenting. i prepared for presentation and look what happened.

took the train back home.
train arrives at jurong east.
some super kiasu lady forced her way and banged me in the process of running out of the train to the platform.
can you imagine that?
how kiasu can that be?
running for the train when the train hasn't arrived at all!
pushing your way into the train when people from inside the train haven't exited yet.
what's all this nonsense? what on earth happened to considerate behavior? died?

i'm just so appalled by selfishness or rather, to put it nicely, self-centredness.
you know what,
i'm going to be selfish and say,
if you want to be selfish, just go ahead and do as you please.
just leave ME alone.