anw, im so glad tt the girls saved me! sch's super boring. shir suggested dinner n majority agreed. had weird improper dinner, my stomach's to blame. really. i do get hungry but i can only eat a little b4 i get really really full. dinner's a hot dog bun, a plate of vegetables n a little rice. my appetite stil is bad. gosh. anw, we went for ice-cream later n chilled a little. this is my first time uploading pics, so pls appreciate! =p
many songs to dedicate.
but for now, this song's for u.
although it might b a little exaggerated in this context,
well, i tink u'll understand.
Simple Plan - Save you
you'retoobeautiful.idundeserveyou.
scattered petals of bloodroses ; 11:31 PM
Thursday, January 29, 2009
quite a number of things happened. i dun tink im gonna say everything.
its quite an unforgetable cny. n im not sure if i regretted going to home club on mon.. in fact, i saw another side of me. the side which is vulnerable n incontrollable. it kind of strengthened my belief tt everyone has so many sides to them. i tink sometimes we dun even recognise ourselves. will we ever reconcile these many diferences to become the one n only u? or are we the way we are cos of our inherent differences, tts y we're different from others? anw, i saw smth even greater. the care from others when i was in that very uncomfortable state. really. u dun know how it feels like when u're surrounded by superficial ppl, ppl who dun really care, tt when those who really do, does smth like tt, the care becomes so obvious. i love u all seriously. tt's y i tink i wouldnt regret going, besides the endless puking, those unslightly photos n my permanent exposure. =p
consecutive nights n im totally exhausted. today, im not going to move. seriously. my bones ache n i feel like shit. i've got no appetite for like 3 days. i've finally got to sleep on my bed. laze in it for hours. i hate to say this. but i feel depressed. for no obvious reason. i bet its the sum of many reasons tt i cant find the root of it.
anw, i dun wan to go sch. cny's not over yet.
y cant life b free n easy without darn responsibilities n obligations. y cant life b just bout urself n tt u dun need to tink bout others or how ur actions affect them. cant life be just beautifully happy. y cant we all live in denial.
y cant we be protected from pain.
we feel, do u know tt?
scattered petals of bloodroses ; 5:00 PM
Thursday, January 22, 2009
i heard this song on radio. its so sad. :( Thinking of you - Katy Perry
love's kinda tragic, isn't it?
scattered petals of bloodroses ; 9:35 PM
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
i so so love music. its like smth i cant live without.
but i realised tt my taste isn't anywhere near professional. haha. some say trashy music. but who cares. i love it.
im so in love with boys like girls, metro station. goshhh. major crush =p
i found a new band. a song i heard on the radio. i love the vocals. its like the first time i heard tt song, his voice.. beautiful. :)
i tink i so love rock. i dunno.
i jus love music. like super crazy. music's my guardian angel.
scattered petals of bloodroses ; 3:34 PM
Thursday, January 15, 2009
sometimes, frens dun seem like frens at all. sometimes, they dun understand the bad position they put u into. sometimes, they are self-centred, they dun worry for others only themselves. sometimes, u thought tt they care, but they dun. sometimes, u care so much bout them tt when they dun do the same, it hurts. sometimes, they just dun understand you at all.
sometimes, ppl close to u jus walk out of ur life without any explanation. sometimes when relations with others hurts you, u jus hav to learn to stand alone. solitude.
scattered petals of bloodroses ; 5:31 PM
Friday, January 09, 2009
im quite frustrated. with all the bidding of modules. it is so difficult. it feels like i dun hav anyone i can seek help/advice from.
i know my family's really concerned. my daddy n cher. i tried to explain the system to them. but the system is too complex. they dun understand. i really dun blame them. i feel confused too.
anw, the first string of the guitar broke. i've no idea y. mayb i strummed too hard. but im feeling the pain now. it's like one of my only ways to express myself.
also, it really hurt. cos it reminded me of u. u told me once tt i caused one of ur strings to break. u sent me the pic. u do all the beautiful things in this world. really. it's such a beautiful pic, it touched my heart. ever since i've got my laptop, it's been part of my com's wallpaper.
can i b selfish, n wish tt u'll come back? cosireallymissyou.
scattered petals of bloodroses ; 1:57 AM
Saturday, January 03, 2009
i think i've finally understood. imnotgoodenoughforyou. idon'tdeserveyou.
scattered petals of bloodroses ; 5:12 PM
Unbeautiful - Lesley Roy
scattered petals of bloodroses ; 1:45 AM
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Happy New Year everybody! :)
hmmm. where shud i start?
okkkk..
kh invited us to his place to countdown. he promised us enough food, n no escape from drinking... =p
anw, he's true to his words. super lots of food n enough games n drinks! we countdown with the mediacorp artists on tv n shaked hands with others. its really like Cny. haha.
we played pictionary, dice n i'd never/truth n dare (confession game). all were fun, seriously. pictionary, my partners were jing hong n kuan wei. they were really good, considering my ugly drawing! haha. we were alright.. not the last though. oops. =p haha. shannon n mervyn. damn funny. both like speaking different language to each other like tt. but still, at least they stayed till the end. :) dun give up! wah. this i gotta mention. ting n wei hai. omg man. they sure can read each other's mind! i saw their drawings n im like... losttttt.. but.. they understand can already la. Also... no one can beat shir's crocodile man. hahaha! we all know.... (*grins) =p kokhao n henry were leading, well, i guess, practice makes perfect man. kokhao mus hav been training much earlier. =p
dice. oh man. this is really all up to fate. i was paired with wei hai. im not sure if i caused him bad luck though. he n kokhao had lots to drink. n all i could do was watch. haha. i drank later though. n like always, im red. darn. very. was a little dizzy but wat was most uncomfortable was my stomach. after quite some time, we all felt n looked better. haha.
i'd never/truth n dare. this is the killer. seriously. its like omggg... top secrets! the guys confessed things, we wouldn't wan to know/wanted to know/curious about etc. its really like washing ur dirty linens in the public. though in this century, its probably considered normal. anw. the dares sucked. as they normally do. mine's alright, i guess? i dun hav much to complain about as compared to others. i just wondered how the receiving end of my dares took it. oh man. they were seriously unlucky. :( it was repeatedly mentioned that all info's kept within those four walls. n i guess, tts the closest way to keep things the way they used to be, as secrets. =p
hmmm. wat made me really think bout is this truth question i had to ans. which of ur exs, those present there, do i love the most. -_-" i asked them, how do u define 'love'? in my mind, i was thinking... is it the one u love the most or the one who made you feel the happiest in that relationship or others.... cos the ans to both is not the same. anw, i ansed to the first n tt's it. enough's said. :)
i really had fun yesterday. thanks guys! :) uknowthebestwaytobreakmyheart.