Friday, August 10, 2007

discarded.
like an old rag.
left abandoned in that filthy corner.
me.

broken.
shattered.
destroyed and unwanted.
mayb even cheated.
i dun know anymore.

i've nv cried so much during a movie b4.
or rather, i haven cried for so long since 2003.
strangely, it wasnt the movie that moved me to tears.
it was ur reply that hurt me so badly.
it stings.

u told her.
u like me.
u'll wait for me till after my 'a's.
u'll nv know how touched i felt.
i swear i'll give u everything in this world.

but ur love,
how long it lasted?
5 mins?
i dunno.

u told me that ur facing so many probs. i told u that i'll stay if u let me go thru this wif u.
so unexpectedly, i found out that there were others involved in this picture too. i felt so cheated. seriously. they told me that ur playing with my feelings. or rather, many ppls' feelings. i told u. i can trust u. i can help u. i can be ther for u. i'll help u find a way back into love.

wat i got was ur resentment. u told me u wun ignoring me. when u completely rejected me, whenever i said i wanted to talk to u. u made me feel like a fool. seriously. u made me feel like i was so irritating. u know wat. i've nv felt so lousy bout myself.

how could i have subjected myself to ur torment.

when will u learn to love somebody wholeheartedly.

now, i know that i'll be strong.
i will get thru this.
i might nv turn back.

tmr, mayb i'll wake up not knowing who are u.
it stil hurts to tink this way.
well, either way, it stil hurts.

luving u itself, hurts.

but after i had tot thru all this,
u msged today. its quite amazing. coz i tot u would probably try to avoid me. when i saw ur name in my inbox, i cried again. i couldnt help it. the pain is indescribable. i couldnt understand y too. i felt myself trying to be strong, trying all my best to get over this painful experience. but it all fallen apart when i saw ur name. i cant bring myself to stop contacting u. i cant do it.

u asked me several stuffs. i ansed. n just as i had guess, i knew u had faced some stuffs that had made u resort to acting in this manner. i knew it. ur pain, i can feel it. really. as i said. it doesnt matter whether ultimately, u would accept me or wat. i could always be there for u, without expecting anything in the end. u know wat, ur happiness means more to me than the materialistic status of a relationship. i hope i can help u thru this. i hope i can open ur heart and teach u to love once again.

u know wat, i really hope i can make u smile.
or rather, take the pain away from u.

and if im silly enough, let me be the one who is experiencing this pain. not u.

heres to the ppl who care...
cher, thanks for going thru this wif me. everytime i felt like crying, u were always ther to make me smile. u make me feel worthy, when i felt the worst i could ever feel. u protected me against the pain. i could nv express my gratitude to u. i love u always, my dearest sis.

thanks Deeben, for ur words of encouragement. for letting me know u understood wat i felt. for helping me thru this. i'll be ther if u ever need me. that's wat frens are for. :)

siyang, thanks for the lyrics u send. u know wat, it was so meaningful. hah. nearly made me tear again. thanks so much for everything. u msged at such an exact timing, i tell u. even i was shocked. haha. but still, i know u guys care so much. thanks for everything.