its at night again.. where i sit and stare and get emotional, where my thoughts are honest and most truthful to heart. im exhausted.. truely...
im so tired of facing this reality. school, as they always say "a place known as our second home". Indeed its true, perhaps now even taking over the place of our very first home. It drained me totally, emotionally and physically. I dread facing another day of school. of all the burdens, the responsibilities, the tight and rigid schedules, the deadlines, the projects, the research and everything. my ccas, the ones that i chose out of passion, are the ones that i look forward to in sch. however, ironically, they are the ones that occupies me throughly, not even leaving me a breather or rest. hurry from this to that, from one activity to another. rushing and running, not having proper meals, not even time to sleep or to do my homework. argh. pls tel me how to successfully survive this extremely depressing ordeal.
im not giving up. im sure bout it. im gonna overcome this, with confidence, pride and perseverence. i can do it and im definitely going to make it thru. this is wat i tel myself when im about to breakdown. im not going to give in to those obstacles. im going to fight them all, hold back my tears and break thru it all... however, each time a burden comes along, forcing me to come to face to it and to endure it, my thoughts of confidence and perseverence are diminishing. it justs reduces and decreases as those burdens overwhelm me. till my words turn hopeless, my thoughts meaningless, forcing me to succumb to defeat. im no longer sure how long can i hold back. how long more can i endure. i dunno and i dun wanna think of it.
u.. the rain. no longer to b found. uncontactable, distant and gone. i stil feel u. ur words, ur encouragement, ur thoughts, care and concern, everything. i stil feel, ur out there, i know. and i do need u so badly, i do. where are u ? this friendship between us, that understanding, the topics of our conversation : that beauty beyond description, the variety, sooo many. u make me feel, so comfortable and easy. i dunno y. but u are someone special to me. i know u need ur life, ur special someone that will come into ur life. thats the reason y i chose not to contact/disturb u. silly me. but im like this. er.. i hope u dun get me wrong alright ? im emotional and so does my words. i treat u as my best guy fren ever. but where are u .
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